KRAC Blog

This program is developed for people who have consumed alcohol nearly every day in the past two months, or who have at least had one drink before noon in that same time frame. If this doesn't sound like you, better luck next year.

For everyone else, you'll want to establish your pace before the big day. A couple days beforehand (today, for example), buy some Irish beer and a bottle of Irish whiskey — go for a blend; the nuances of single-malts will be lost after you drink, like, three of them — and get to work. Knock back a shot of whiskey, and chase it with a beer. Wait fifteen minutes. If you're drunk, tap out now. If you're happy and wanting to break into a jig, then your Saint Patrick's Pace per Hour (SPP/H) is one drink. If you feel nothing, have another shot and another beer and wait another fifteen minutes. Repeat until you're ready for that jig. Count how many drinks it takes, then divide that number by two. That's your SPP/H.

Make a note to measure this accurately. Saint Patrick's Day is a distance event, not a sprint. Don't worry about how much you can drink. Focus instead on finishing the whole day under your own steam, with all your limbs intact. There is pride in crossing the finish line.